


Friendship(?) Aneurysms

by a_stands_for



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comfort Sex, Cunnilingus, F/F, Femslash, Light Bondage, Makeover, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sleepovers, Squiddles, Threesome - F/F/F, Tickling, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-04
Updated: 2012-04-04
Packaged: 2017-11-03 01:40:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/375665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_stands_for/pseuds/a_stands_for
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the kink meme. Originally posted Oct 2011.</p><p>In which Jade, Nep, and Fef tank up on sugar, engage in marathons and makeovers, prank all their friends, and in general have more fun than any slumber party should be allowed to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friendship(?) Aneurysms

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Jade, Feferi and Nepeta having sexy sleepover shenanigans. Originally posted [here](http://homesmut.livejournal.com/9406.html?thread=14939070#t14939070).
> 
> (Today the A stands for Antics)

“So, is it just us three, then?” Jade asked as Feferi and Nepeta settled onto the pillow piles she had set up in her room.

“Rose and Kanaya _politely declined_ , by which I mean they hinted that they were _too mature_ for slumber parties,” Feferi said, rolling her eyes behind her goggles.

“Terezi said she was busy, and I couldn't find Aradia,” Nepeta added.

Jade pouted for a moment, then looked confused. “Wait, that still leaves one. What about Vriska?”

Feferi and Nepeta exchanged glances. “Oops. We may have forgotten to invite her,” they said with shameless grins.

“Girls!” Jade scolded. “How can you exclude one of our very few compatriots? Vriska probably has a lot to offer, I bet she'd be great fun oh who am I kidding, she's _so bossy!_ ” The other two laughed as Jade sighed and gave in. “She'd just make fun of my shows and insist we watch Nic Cage movies.”

“Let's just leave her in John's care and make tonight about us!”

“Yeah! I'm looking forward to this show about furendship! I'm still trying to understand the human quadrants!”

Jade smiled warmly. “Oh, you'll guys will love it! _Squiddles the Movie_ is my favorite! It makes me cry every time!” She hopped over and began fiddling with the TV. She had alchemized all sorts of things for this event, like the Squiddles DVD, several dozen stuffed Tangle Buddies, and a wide assortment of sugary snacks and drinks.

 _Lots_ of sugary snacks and drinks.

“Oh my codness! They look like cuttlefish!!”

* * *

_One and a half hours later:_

“TANGLE BUDDIES!!”

“Eeeeeeeek!!”

Where once there had been three girls, there now existed a hyperactive, giggling tangle of limbs and hair. “Oh, no! Help, help, Skipper Plumbthroat's got meeee!”

“Nooo! Not Princess Berryboo! There's only one thing we can do, Squiddles! Tickle attack!”

“AAAAaaaa ha hah ha hah!! No, wait, stop, not _me!_ ” Jade shrieked in an ever increasing pitch as she squirmed helplessly, trapped between two sets of merciless fingers.

“This tickling thing is fascinating! I wish trolls were ticklish!”

“Just imagine if we could give Karkat a friendship aneurysm every time he's being Mr. Grumpy-gills!”

“Aaaah, please, no more! I give, I give!” Jade wheezed between giggles, tears squeezing out from the corners of her eyes. They finally relented, letting the red-faced human sit up and gasp for air. “You know what we should do? We should attack my brother!”

“YES! All of my yes!” Feferi cheered. “Only the Power of Friendship and Teamwork can at last repay him for all the obscene pranks he's pulled!”

“Ooh! Can we roleplay a pack of wild, protector Squiddles, out on the hunt to take down the evil Murky Brineswallows before the rest of the herd falls in their clutches?”

“I... can't say anything like that has ever occurred on the show, but sure! Why not?”

“Yay!”

* * *

_Ten minutes later_

“How do I liiiiiiiiive withoooooout you?”

“I want to knoooooooow!”

“How do I breeeeeeeeathe withooooooout you?”

“If you eveeeer gooooo?”

“How do I eveeeeer--”

“Eeeveeer--”

“Surviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive?”

John and Vriska were doing a pretty good impression of tangle buddies already. They were draped over each other, singing and shedding a few heartfelt tears as Cameron Poe reunited with his loving wife and daughter once again.

“Oh man, no matter how many times I see this, it still gets me!” John sniffled.

“I know, right? I mean, when I watch this, I _almost_ think I can understand your human 'love' thing. And human Nic Cage is sooooo dreamy...” she trailed off, gazing at John with heavy-lidded eyes. “Have you ever considered growing your hair out?”

“I have, actually! And then I could get myself a filthy wife-beater, and go on a crazy but noble adventure, and come back to the loving arms of my very own Trisha Poe!” He returned Vriska's heated gaze, a devious smile twitching at the corner of his lips. “You know... I bet you'd look pretty good as a blonde.”

“Y-you think so?” she asked, suddenly feeling unaccountably flustered.

“Oh, absolutely! And, you know what else? I've never told you this before, but...” He leaned a little closer. “When you flutter your wings really fast, you kind of look like a hummingbird.”

“Really?” she whispered as she leaned closer as well, even though she had no idea what a hummingbird was.

“Really.” Lips parted as they grew closer and closer, eyes drifting nearly shut as heads tilted to either side.

It was at that moment that three stuffed Squiddles rose ominously over the back of the sofa. John and Vriska's eyes widened as they turned their heads, staring blankly at the vacuous, beady black orbs that burned into theirs.

“ _What?_ ”

“TICKLE ATTACK!” came three female voices in unison, before the owners of those voices leaped over and around the sofa to mob the shocked human. The stuffed animals were abandoned to free up their hands for full attacking force. Six sets of fingers darted over John's body, wiggling into his underarms, the crook of his knees, and all over his sides and sock-covered feet. He shrieked in much the same way Jade had done, laughing and squirming so violently that he slid off the couch.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing?” Vriska snarled in confusion and surprise.

“Tickling him!” Jade explained as she pinned her brother face down on the floor by sitting on him. As he tried to kick backwards with his feet, she grabbed them both and held them tightly against her chest, running her fingers over his soles. “Like this!”

“AAH, no no no!” he squealed, trying to push himself up. Feferi and Nepeta quickly grabbed each of his arms, leaving him helpless to their ministrations.

“It's a strange trait some humans have!” Nepeta explained to Vriska. “Apparently, their softy squishy skin doesn't protect their nerves from over-stimulation! Or something!” She trailed a few fingers under his chin to his neck, eliciting another squeak of laughter as he struggled to clamp his chin to his collarbone. “Which is funny, 'cause Pounce de Leon used to love this!”

“This is the best form of torture ever!” Feferi declared, her manic grin a just a little disturbing. She held John's arm in an iron grip over his head as she trailed her claws gently up and down his side.

“No more! Uncle, uncle! Whatever I did, I'm sorry!”

“Oh?” Jade said sweetly, not stopping in the slightest. “What are you sorry for, exactly?”

“I—I'm sorry I put that bucket of ice-water over your door, Jade! And I'm sorry about the cake to the face, Feferi! And I'm really sorry about the stinkbomb, Nepeta, I didn't know your nose was so sensitive! Please, have mercy, I'm begging here!”

“Weeeeeell... alright, I _suppose_ you've had enough,” his ecto-sister finally relented. They let go and she crawled off, allowing him to curl up into a defensive ball as he pouted. “If nothing else, we've planted the seeds for the revenge that keeps on giving.”

“What do you mean?” he sulked as they gathered up the Squiddles.

“Now Vriska knows about tickling!” they said cheerily from the hallway, then slammed the door.

John froze, then let his eyes drift up to the troll still sitting on the sofa. Her eyes drifted back down to him.

The spidertroll flashed him a grin full of fangs.

John swallowed.

* * *

_Five minutes later_

Three heads peered through the door that they had just quietly opened. There was a moment of shock, then the three heads pulled away and closed the door, just as quietly. Vivid tyrian purple, green, and red blushes stained their cheeks.

“On second thought, let's just leave Rose and Kanaya to their own devices.”

“That sounds like a purrfect idea.”

* * *

“So, what else does a sleepover entail?” Feferi asked after they had crashed back into their pillow piles. Jade suddenly flushed a little and fidgeted uncomfortably.

“I'm not... really sure, actually. That was kind of why I invited Rose, I was hoping she would know.”

“Well, guess!” Nepeta said with a reassuring smile. “It's not like we would even know if you're wrong or not!”

Jade gave a little laugh. “I suppose you're right. Well, if the Internet has taught me anything, it's that slumber parties require us to paint our toenails and brush each other's hair.”

“Okay! Then let's do that!” the abdicated-Empress-to-be declared. “To the alchemiter!”

Between Jade and Nepeta's sketch modi, it didn't take long before they had an impressive assortment of nail-care items, make-up kits, and hair styling equipment that all ended up in a pile between them on the floor.

“This is surpurrisingly fun!” Nepeta giggled as she carefully applied a candy-red coating of paint to her claws. “It looks like I just came back from a successful hunt.”

Jade choked on a laugh. “It's supposed to look _pretty_ , silly! That's the entire purpose of make-up!”

“But we are all already pretty,” Feferi stated with innocent flattery. “And Gamzee wears make-up all the time, but it only makes him scary, if anything. Also, won't it get ruined as soon as we go to sleep?” She paused, her hands frozen in the middle of pinning her sweeping up-do. “Plus, this hairstyle would never hold up underwater.”

Jade shook her head. “This is just for fun, don't worry about it so much! I guess, if you want to do something goofy instead of sexy, that's okay too.”

The aquatic troll considered that for a moment, then stopped fighting with her hair. “I think I shall,” she said happily and picked up a large canister of pale foundation. Before Jade could object that it was the wrong color, she began rubbing it over her face.

“What are you up to?”

“I'm going to see what I would look like as a human! I think that would be lots more fun!”

“Hey, you're right!” Nepeta perked up, still blowing on her pointy fingernails. “I want to try it, too!”

“Well, here, let me do it, your nails are still wet!” Jade said frantically before everything could get smeared with red. The sugar-hyped troll did her best to sit still as Feferi poured some of the foundation into Jade's hands. The human scooted over, sliding her legs around Nepeta's hips so they could sit face to face.

The cream was cool against her thick skin, but the troll found herself more fascinated by the way Jade's face went from giddy silliness to intense, scientific concentration. It was kind of strange to be this close to someone who was not her moirail, not a _troll_ , even. Nepeta took the opportunity to study her, from her already-green pupils framed by white, to her curiously pink lips. From this distance, she could even see that her pale, oddly soft skin was actually covered in nearly-invisible, downy soft hairs.

“You have fur!” she suddenly blurted. At Jade's blank look, she continued. “On your face. It's so fine, I never noticed before.”

“Oh,” Jade said as she trailed a clean hand over her cheek. “Yeah, those. It's probably easier to see on my arms.” She held up a limb below Nepeta's nose, chuckling to herself at the way the troll went cross-eyed trying to stare. “When I'm cold, they all stand on end and you can see little bumps at the base of each strand. We call them goosebumps.”

“Weird!” she exclaimed, already wondering how she could make Jade cold. The human blinked as another set of eyes suddenly materialized in close proximity, examining her skin with wide eyes. Feferi's face, strange enough without her familiar goggles on, was completely covered in foundation now, aside from a few patches here and there that were still thin enough to show the gray beneath. Without even thinking about it, Jade dabbed a bit more cream over the spots.

“Thank you,” the royal-blood said very softly.

Jade blinked, and suddenly realized how odd this all was; how close they all were, how quiet they'd suddenly become. There was a curious tension in the air that hadn't been there before. Where had all the laughter gone? If she didn't know better, she'd almost think they were having a _moment_.

_Don't be silly. We're all girls._

_Crap, that doesn't matter with trolls!_

Jade coughed, suddenly feeling entirely too warm. A trickle of sweat ran down her sides. “Um... you look very human-like now, Feferi! Don't you think so, Nepeta?” she blurted out, trying to break the tension.

Nepeta shook her head as if coming out of a dream, then looked back and forth between them. “Not yet, really. Maybe if you make your lips pink, and paint your horns black?”

Feferi brushed a hand against her horns protectively. “Oh... I suppose they are a giveaway.” She stared at the floor, lips pouting in adorable uncertainty, before she looked up with determination. “I will if you will.”

The cat-troll met her eyes, and they both narrowed in challenge. “Deal.”

Jade looked from troll to troll in confusion, certain she had missed something but not knowing what. “Do you want any help?”

“NO!” they both exclaimed hastily, then looked away with identical expressions of embarrassment.

Yup. Definitely missing something.

By the time Jade returned from alchemizing some black face paint, the girls had finished the last touches of make-up on their faces and necks. She had to admit, they'd done a pretty convincing job. They took the black paint from her wordlessly, exchanged narrow-eyed glances, then began applying it thickly over their candy-corn colored horns. Faces screwed with intense concentration, which struck Jade as rather odd; surely it wasn't  _that_ difficult. Maybe there was some sort of stigma she was unaware of about hiding their horns? Maybe they were really uncomfortable with this? Maybe this was a terrible idea, how could she have suggested this!

Wait, she  _didn't_ suggest this, Nepeta did. Surely it couldn't be  _too_ horrible an idea, or she wouldn't have been willing to do it in the first place. Suddenly Jade felt very silly, getting all worked up over nothing.

“Finished!” the lady trolls exclaimed. They were breathing usually hard, as if they'd just done something more strenuous than painting, and Jade could almost swear they were blushing under all that makeup. “What do you think? Do they blend in with our hair now?”

Jade had a full-length mirror in her quarters, and the three of them huddled in front of it, comparing themselves. Yes, their horns were almost lost in their jet-black hair now, and aside from their orange eyes, the both of them looked very similar to the human girl.

Very similar. A thought popped into Jade's head, and she laughed before she could stop herself.

“What?”

“Oh, I just thought... if you put on some of my outfits, you could both almost pass as _me_. Imagine if we dropped in on Karkat and started fighting with each other? He'd probably flip his shit!”

Feferi and Nepeta pondered that for a moment. They exchanged glances with each other, then with Jade.

Three sets of juicy pink lips stretched into evil grins.

* * *

_30 minutes later_

Karkat rubbed his eyes tiredly, slouching back in his computer chair. He really ought to have signed off an hour ago and crawled into his recuperacoon, but he still hated to sleep, even when his eyes felt dry, red, and exhausted. With a sigh, he finally pushed his chair back and dragged himself to his feet. It wasn't like anything he was working on couldn't wait until evening. Morning. Whatever-the-fuck time it would be when he woke up.

He was in the middle of a yawn when he first heard it. He shook his head, wondering if it was just his roaring ears playing tricks on him, but a few moments later they twitched as he picked up the noise again. It sounded like shouting coming from the corridor outside his quarters.

He groaned.  _Sweet Troll Jegus, can't these assholes control their bickering long enough to shut up when they're near my door?_ He growled and pounded a fist against the controls beside his room's entrance, ready to chew out whichever of the aforementioned assholes happened to be the guilty party this time.

The door opened. Karkat's sunken, shadowed eyes peered into the hallway.

He stared.

The perpetrator was Jade. And Jade. And Jade again.

_What._

He could only see one of them full on, the other two being somewhere between in-profile and turned away, but there was no mistaking those three sets of thick, round glasses. The middle Jade, clothed in her sleek black and green-shimmering gown, was growing quite red in the face as she shouted furiously at the other two. The one in her frilly blue dress with that garish jacket gave a huff and flipped her wilder-than-usual hair, glaring back. The third Jade, dressed in that ludicrously sliced-up number that gave teasing glimpses of red-clad legs, gave a frustrated yowl of a scream.

“I am absolutely fur-ious! I can't believe that one day I'll become one of you! Both of you, even!”

“You think _you're_ angry! It sickens me to my sole that I was ever as foolish and naïve as the pair of you!”

“Would the both of you just _shut up!_ My shame at having ever been _you_ , Past Jade, is only matched by the repulsion I feel when I realize that someday I will become _you_ , Future Jade!”

“Hmph!”

“Hmph!” Two heads spun haughtily away, leaving the Jade in the middle to fume in impotent rage.

“What. The. _Fuck_ is going on here?!” Karkat blurted out, his mouth agape and his ever-wrinkled brow even more furrowed than normal.

Current Jade looked up, as if only just now noticing him, then rushed over to grip his shoulders. “Karkat, can't you do something about this? Dave was fooling around, alchemizing time devices again, and now look what's happened!”

As he stared, speechless, the other two Jades came to surround him as well, hovering at the corners of his peripheral vision. “Yes, Karkat, you're our leader, aren't you? It's your job to take re-spawn-sibility for these kind of things!” A hand pressed against his shoulder-blades, then trailed slowly down to the small of his back, leaving a burning, tingling trail of sensation. Karkat shuddered.

“Please, can't you do something, Karkat? We can't pawsibly take much more of this! The longer we're stuck with each other, the more our _hatred_ for each other grows...” The male troll jumped as another hand brushed against his arm, rubbing circles in his thick skin through the sleeve of his shirt.

“Um,” Karkat stuttered, finally finding his voice again, though not his volume. “N-now, look here, I'm not nearly the fool you're trying to make out with me to be. I mean, uh, make out with you to be. _Fuck_ , I mean make me out to be!” Current Jade loomed a little closer, smirking under smoky eyes as the troll squirmed. “I'll have you know I've been on Trollian with Strider all day, so there's no way he's been up to any alchemy shenanigans.”

Jade blinked. “What on Earth could you possibly talk about with Dave for that long?”

Karkat suddenly turned bright red. “Nothing! A-anyway, the point is: you're not fooling anyone! Don't think I didn't notice those cat/fish puns! Besides, everyone's heard about what you girls did to John by now. The next time you plan on having a Sleep-Themed Bonding Event, you can bet we're all going to be watching your sugar intake!”

Jade pouted and exchanged glances with her co-conspirators.  _Darn it, he figured us out far too quickly! So much for our prank!_

To her surprise, though, Feferi winked. She then proceeded to let out the most dramatic sigh Jade had ever heard. “Un-be-lievable!” she enunciated loudly. “Even our own leader won't help us!” She cast a glance full of vitriol over to Nepeta. “This must be  _your_ fault, Past-er Jade. You're just such a washup!”

“W-what?” Nepeta growled, always fast on her feet for a good roleplay. “If anything, it's _your_ fault, Future-est Jade! You've been through this twice already, you should have more than enough experience! Are you some special kind of idiot? Maybe the fourth or fifth time will be the charm, huh, fuckass?”

Feferi's eyes flashed with anger. She reached across Karkat's back, grabbed Nepeta by the lapels of the Dead Shuffle dress, and yanked her forward, shoving the male troll out of the way. Karkat stumbled awkwardly into Jade's bosom, face-first, mostly due to the fact that he was afraid to brace himself against her with his clawed hands. Jade helped him regain his balance and pushed the very red-faced troll off. He spun around, ready to give the two of them a verbal flaying, but the words died on his tongue as he watched Feferi pull her hand back, ball it into a fist, and sock Nepeta across the jaw.

“GIRLS!” Jade yelped as Nepeta took a handful of long, black hair and gave it a hard yank. Feferi screeched and finally let go of the black suit collar. The real human quickly rushed in between them, hands held up to keep them apart. “L-let's not get carried away!”

“Shut up, Jade,” Feferi said with a disdainful sneer. “Or are you trying to join in?”

Jade stared at her with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open in surprise.  _She's still just playing... right? She's so good at this it's hard to tell! Sometimes she scares me..._

Nepeta nursed her jaw sullenly, giving Feferi the stinkeye. “Yeah, don't be such a waste of space, Less-Future Me, together we can take her!”

Jade's eyebrow twitched. “Waste... of space?” Visions of Jadesprite sobbing uselessly flashed through her head. She swallowed the irritation down and tried again. “Look. There's no need to come to blows over this. We're all reasonable, intelligent girls, here. Let's just calm down, take a deep breath,” she illustrated with a chest-heaving example, “and kiss and make up.”

Three trolls stared at her with raised eyebrows. Jade felt her face grow hot. “It's an expression,” she clarified, pretending she was only explaining for Karkat's benefit.

Feferi and Nepeta exchanged glances, their ugly snarls melting into something more devilishly playful. “Yes, Karkat, that is the proper way we humans apologize. Didn't you know? And you're absolutely right, Middle Jade, we're being childish.” Ignoring Jade's embarrassed distress, they stood in front of each other once more. “Sorry about the face,” Feferi said first, looking truly apologetic as she brushed a hand softly over Nepeta's slightly swelling cheek. Only the thick makeup she wore prevented the green knuckle-shaped print from showing.

“It's okay, it's not too bad,” Nepeta said honestly. “How's your head?” She brushed a few fingers through Feferi's black hair, gingerly touching her scalp.

“I'll be fine. No harm done.”

“Then... shall we kiss?”

“Yes, let's. It is an _essential_ part of making up, after all!”

_Girls, I didn't mean that literally!_ Jade groaned in her head, but made no attempt to clarify out loud. Karkat was staring with a kind of horrified fascination, after all, and even if he did know better, it certainly still  _looked_ like Jade was about to make out with herself. In fact, she was finding it increasingly disconcerting.

Yes, disconcerting was definitely the word she was looking for, and _not anything else_.

The two troll girls grew closer and closer, pink-painted lips parting in anticipation, their eyes almost hidden under fluttering eyelashes. Jade swallowed in spite of herself.

Lips touched gently, a far cry from their behavior only moments ago. They lingered for a moment, all tender sweetness with just a hint of nervousness before they parted, the corners of their eyes crinkling as they smiled at each other and giggled.

As one, they turned to Jade. “Your turn!”

She jumped, sucking in a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. “W-what? Oh, no, that's hardly necessary...”

“Don't be silly! We said some awful things to you, too. We have to apologize!” 

Jade glanced nervously from face to face as they suddenly surrounded her. Feferi took her hands in her own, standing firmly in front of her and a little too close for comfort. “I'm sorry, Jade. Less-Past me. I didn't mean to snap at you. Forgive me?”

The troll squeezed her hands a little as she stared soulfully into her eyes, and Jade had the feeling that her apology wasn't entirely for show. She must have noticed the hurt expression that had crossed her face at the time. “Oh, um, it's okay. I know you didn't really mean it.”

Feferi smiled cutely, and Jade found herself growing unaccountably red. It only grew worse as the sea-troll leaned in closer, ink-black eyes drifting down to gaze at her lips. Jade's mind went completely blank, slipping into autopilot instead. And autopilot said: when someone is  _that_ close and tilting their head to one side, then you tilt your head the other way.

She could feel Feferi's breath against her lips. She smelled like sugar.

Suddenly Nepeta snorted with laughter. Jade jumped as if burned, and was surprised when her motion was mirrored by someone else: Karkat. He took one look at Nepeta, followed her gaze down to his pants, then scowled as he turned the brightest shade of red Jade had seen yet.

“Fuck!” he squawked as he pulled his shirt down lower. “Piss off, you nookwhiffers! Take your deviant pranks and go jump off an asteroid!” He hunched over as he weaved past the three of them, rushing for the sanctuary of his quarters with a pronounced hobble.

“You know, if you're really that friendly with Dave, I'm sure he could help you out with your concupiscent threesome self-cest fetish!” Feferi called helpfully to his retreating back.

“FUCK. YOU.” 

With a snarl he slammed his hand over the close-door button, disappearing from sight with a flash of gray metal. Silence filled the corridor in his wake.

“Sweet dreams, Karkitty,” Nepeta giggled softly.

* * *

They stumbled back into Jade's quarters, literally; exhaustion was setting in now that their sugar high was wearing off, and when Feferi tripped, Jade crashed into her, then Nepeta crashed into _her_ , until the three of them ended up in a sprawl on the floor.

“What a day!” Nepeta said with a giant sigh, crawling off of the other two.

“What time is it?”

“ _Late_.”

“Oh _wow_ ,” Jade exclaimed upon glancing at the clock. “Yeah, I guess it's time for the _sleep_ part of our sleepover.” She stood back up and steadied herself against her desk, while Nepeta helped Feferi to her feet. “Geez, we still need to get all that makeup off of you two.”

“Oh yeah,” the cat-troll said, rubbing her thumbs over her fingers. Jade had given them both outfits that covered most of their skin, but they still had foundation all over their hands, necks, and faces. With heavy feet, they dragged themselves over to the ablution room and crowded around the sink.

“Here, use this,” Jade said helpfully, passing down a tube of some kind of soap. “It'll wash it right off.”

They worked in silence for a while, interrupted only by the sound of running water as they cleaned up. Washcloths streaked with tan and pink were wrung out and hung up. Faces were patted dry. Jade blinked blearily into the mirror, watching as her two companions transformed back into trolls. It was a funny thought. She would have giggled about it, if she had the energy.

“Did I get it all?” Feferi asked at last. Jade studied the two of them and gave a small, amused laugh, more of a breath of air than anything.

“You both forgot something,” she said with a half-grin.

“What?”

“Here.” She reached up with a wet hand to Nepeta, who was closer, and brushed a thumb up one of her little blackened horns.

She made the most  _peculiar_ noise in surprise.

Jade stared. Nepeta blushed a bright green. Feferi was quite purple as well. Jade found herself remembering how odd they'd been about the whole 'painting their horns' situation in the first place.

“Can you... feel that?”

Nepeta was staring at her hands and fidgeting horribly. “Why wouldn't we?”

“I don't know, I just thought they were like... fingernails.”

Feferi shook her head. “Claws grow under the skin and push the dead part out, but horns grow from the tip. There's a thin layer of skin over them to keep them alive.

“Oh. Like deer.” The two trolls stared at her uncomprehendingly. “Uh... antler-beasts?”

“Sure. But we don't shed our horns, and they grow much slower.”

“Huh. That's fascinating! So what does it feel like? Does it tickle? No wait, you already said trolls aren't ticklish. It doesn't... hurt, does it?” She suddenly felt alarmed and guilty.

“No! No, you didn't hurt me, Jade,” Nepeta mumbled. Jade breathed a sigh of relief.

“It feels... good,” Feferi mumbled even softer.

“Really?” The human looked back and forth between them. She was a little slow on the uptake since she was so tired, but the color that flushed their cheeks, combined with the way they refused to meet her gaze, eventually clued her in. “Oh. _Oh._ ”

_Really awkward silence._

Jade coughed. “I'll just, uh, let you two finish cleaning up while I, um... go change.” She slipped past the two of them and out the door, her face an equivalent shade of red.

* * *

They emerged later, paint free, and slipped into their sleeping clothes. “So... how do we do this?” Jade asked. “Sleeping bags on the floor? My bed's not big enough for all of us and I don't have a recuperacoon...”

“Oh, that's okay,” Nepeta assured her. “I never really used those, I always slept with Pounce.” She looked sad for a moment, then shook it off with a pained smile.

“I will be fine with those arrangements. The horrorterrors protect me from nightmares, now!” Feferi said happily, which was _not reassuring at all_.

They laid the sleeping bags that Jade had alchemized earlier, just in case, out on the floor in a spoke pattern, heads together. Nepeta turned out the lights as they all stretched out and tried to get comfortable. Cloth rustled. Yawns were passed contagiously around. Eyes blinked into the darkness.

“I miss Pounce,” Nepeta said quietly.

Jade shifted over on to her stomach, chin propped on her hands. “What was she like?”

The cat-troll rolled into a ball. “She was... wonderful. The bestest kitty ever. I can still remember the day she picked me. I was just a little troll, freshly pupated and triumphant over the Trials. She washed the blood off my body with her scratchy tongue, picked me up by the scruff of my neck, and carried me to my new home. I tried to tell her that I could walk, but she insisted!” Jade could hear the smile in her voice. “We were always together after that. She taught me everything I needed to know about taking care of her, and I think I did a pretty good job... at least... until the cave-in...”

Nepeta fell silent. Jade stretched a hand out in the darkness, found hers, and gave it a squeeze.

“I bet you did the best job. The best.”

Nepeta squeezed back. “Thanks,” she whispered. They didn't let go of each other's hands.

The room was quiet for a while. Jade started thinking about Becquerel, and how they took care of each other. “You know, when you think about it, my upbringing was a lot more like a troll's than a human's.”

“Really?” Feferi asked, her curiosity evident as her orange eyes glimmered in the darkness.

“My Grandpa couldn't get around as much after he died, so I guess you could say Bec took over raising me. But of course he was still my pet, so I took care of _him_ , too. It's like I had a lusus!”

“That's pretty neat!”

“Isn't it?” she agreed with a grin. Settling her head back down, she closed her eyes again and let out a contented sigh. Silence made another attempt at taking over the room.

“Um. Jade?” Nepeta asked softly.

“Hmm?”

“Do you think, maybe, I could... curl up next to you? Only all this talk about lusii has reminded me of how much I miss sleeping next to someone soft and warm...”

_I'm soft and warm?_ she thought, amused and oddly flattered. “Sure you can!”

Gratefully, the cat-troll pulled her sleeping bag around and laid it next to Jade's as the girl turned over on her back. She flopped down again, curling up just as she said she would and nuzzling into the human's side. Her skin was surprisingly cool. Jade wondered if that was because trolls weren't mammals. She had a distinct musky smell, like a wolf.

“Is that nice?”

Jade blinked, surprised to find that she had almost nodded off already. Then again, she'd always been prone to falling asleep at the drop of a hat.

“What?”

“I've never slept next to someone before. Or with something warm. The ocean's a pretty cold place, after all.”

“It's very nice,” Nepeta slurred sleepily. “You should try it sometime.”

A long pause.

“May I--”

“Come on over, Fef,” Jade said with a laugh. The ex-princess grinned and relocated her bedding. Laying down against her other side, she slid in as close as she could, somewhat hesitantly placing her arm across Jade's torso.

“Oh, you _are_ warm!”

“Hee,” she giggled. She shifted a little to get comfortable, then let her breathing slow. All was quiet again, until Nepeta let out a little titter of laughter.

“Sorry,” she said with a little cough, trying to get herself under control. “Just thinking about Karkitty's face!” She burst into giggles again, and her mirth was contagious.

“Oh, gosh, tonight was so much fun! I'm so glad you invited us, Jade!”

“Me too!”

“I'm so glad you came,” she responded, wrapping an arm around each of them to give them a slight hug. They snuggled closer, both a little more pleasantly warm now that they had absorbed some of her heat.

She really  _was_ glad they came. When she was at her most honest, she had to admit that growing up as the only human on an isolated island had been lonely. Sure, she had Bec, but he was only a dog, even if a very special one. He was simply the best there was at being loyal and good and protecting, but he didn't tell very good jokes, much less laugh at hers. And all she and Grandpa did was fight, when they interacted at all. And though she had had John and Dave and Rose, they weren't _there_ , not in the sense that she sometimes longed for. When she slept she had hung out with the Prospitians, but they were hard to relate to, sometimes. Oh, they were very nice people! But... they were born as adults. Her childhood dreams and problems were difficult for them to understand.

She had tried very hard to get by, though! She chatted with her friends all the time, even in her sleep, and she explored the island side-by-side with Bec, and she ate dinner in front of the fireplace with Grandpa every evening. Once a year she baked herself a cake and put everyone's gifts around it and sang herself the Happy Birthday song, pretending that everyone else was singing with her. But sometimes, she watched movies where a child was celebrating the anniversary of their birth surrounded by friends and loved ones, and her throat began to hurt and she had to blink fast and look away. Or she would be watching a new episode of the Squiddles TV show and would be caught by surprise with an especially heartfelt tangle-buddy scene, and a horrible empty place seemed to throb in her heart. But she was okay! She was a strong girl, and she had survived through worse! She had a good life, she shouldn't be selfish.

“Jade?” Nepeta asked hesitantly. “Why are you crying?”

“What?” she asked, and her voice came out horribly tight and high. Oh. _Oh gog, I really am crying_.

“What is it?” Feferi asked nervously. “Did we do something wrong?”

“No, no, you're fine! I just started thinking about stuff, and got carried away, I guess.”

“Thinking about what?”

“Just... how really, really grateful I am that you two spent time with me today. You know how I grew up, all alone on that island with only the Internet to connect me to the world and my friends, and I don't know, maybe that's not unusual or even perfectly normal for trolls? But it's _not_ normal for humans, it really isn't, and I was lonely, _so lonely_ , and I've always wanted to do simple things like have a slumber party with a bunch of friends and share my favorite shows and play pranks and laugh together and hug, and--” she took a wheezing breath, and it burned her throat painfully. She knew her face was probably horribly splotchy, and was grateful for the darkness that hid the tears that were now streaming from the corners of her eyes and soaking her hair. “And I guess I didn't realize how _badly_ I've longed for something like this, and now it's coming out all at once and I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to go hysterical on you girls, I just can't seem to stop--!!??”

Feferi had propped herself up, leaned over her face, and was now kissing her passionately.

Jade was so shocked she shut the hell up.

As soon as she let up, Nepeta crowded in and began lapping up the tears from her cheeks with a moist tongue, brushing her fingers through Jade's damp hair and ending with a tender kiss upon her lips.

_Oh._

_I guess... that was pretty pitiful just now._

Jade laid there in a daze, passively unresisting as two sets of hands and two pairs of lips began to caress her gently. Fingers trailed over her arms, rubbed up and down her sides, and stroked her gently on the head. Kisses trailed across her chin and down her neck. She exposed more of it in response.

_This is so strange_ , was the only thought her exhausted brain could process. One of their hands, she had no idea whose, traced up her torso and followed the swell of her breasts, passing over a nipple. In her thin pajama top Jade could feel it easily, and her body reacted automatically. She found herself relaxing, eyes closing as she surrendered to the sensations that were growing more pleasant by the second. A tingling feeling like electricity was stirring in her groin. As the hand traveled back down, it encountered the stiffening nub at the peak of her chest and paused, lingering over it in curiosity. 

_I wonder if trolls even have nipples? The girls seem to have breasts, but I think they serve a different purpose._ Jade couldn't muster the energy or inclination to form a coherent sentence, so when another hand found her other erect tit, she raised her arms up to both girls' heads, found their horns, and gave them an explanatory tweak.

Twin gasps of air made her smile a little. Then they put their own hands to work, and it was Jade's turn to suck in air erratically. Cool air blew against her torso as they slipped her shirt higher, and she arched her back at the feel of skin against skin. She caught a glimpse of eyes glimmering in the darkness, and realized belatedly that the other two girls could probably see just fine. Those hands caressed and kneaded at her breasts in asynchronous rhythm, squeezing all of her one moment and then thumbing where it was most sensitive the next. A breathy moan slipped from her lips and she began to squirm, legs tightening and widening in turns.

“Um... g-girls,” she stuttered, unsure of what she was asking for. It seemed they already knew, though, because a moment later they split up, one of them slipping down to her shifting legs. Two hands rested questioningly against her thighs. Jade stilled, her legs held open in silent permission. She didn't even dare to breathe.

The hands slipped inside her thighs and trailed north, stroking her groin over her pajama pants. Jade whimpered tried to push against them. Fingers slipped under the band of her pants and underwear, pulling them down agonizingly slowly. She lifted her hips and allowed them to be removed entirely.

The troll still at her side leaned down and initiated another kiss, a wide mouthed one with an invading tongue. Jade tasted sugar, and realized with some amazement that she could tell it was Feferi by that alone. The sea-troll's hands resumed their pleasurable torment at her breasts, her mouth devouring the moans that she was encouraging her to produce.

And then something happened that Jade didn't expect. Her vagina, swollen and sensitive with arousal, was suddenly being perused by a curious and very dexterous tongue. She gave a loud gasp of surprise and tried to shut her legs, but Nepeta had a firm grip on her knees and only forced her to spread them wider. With a bit of shock she realized that Feferi had pinned her arms above her head in a similar manner. She was wearing nothing but a shirt that was pushed up to her armpits, was thoroughly restrained, and at the mercy of two sexy alien girls about to pleasure her senseless.

Perhaps it was time to reconsider her sexuality?

Because this

was  _fucking_

HOT!

She squealed into Feferi's mouth as Nepeta swiped her tongue over a particularly sensitive nub of flesh. That tongue was everywhere, making broad swipes one moment, then swirling in circles, then lapping at the juices that all this stimulation was encouraging her body to produce. Jade wondered if it was her imagination, or if Nepeta's tongue was more coarse than the one currently stroking the inside of her mouth. Not enough to be painful, but enough to double the sensation everywhere it touched, leaving a tingling heat behind that lingered long after she had moved elsewhere. Oh, gog, she felt like she was on fire!

Feferi began to suck on her bottom lip, nibbling it gently with her sharp teeth even as the hand not restraining her wrists worked on rolling a nipple between her fingers in ways that made her shudder. Down lower, Nepeta gripped her legs tightly, pulled them apart even wider, and thrust her wriggling tongue up inside her.

“Aaah!” Jade shrieked. “Fuck! Oh! Ohgog! Ooooh!” Her back arched as her body was overloaded with sensation, every muscle tense like she was being electrocuted with pleasure. The hands that kept her pinned were far stronger than her own, though, and kept her in place. The tongue at the very center of the storm darted in and out, flicking over her clitoris with each pass. “Ohgogohgogohgog Nepeta don't stop whatever you do don't stop that!! Aaaaah!”

Apprently her cries triggered something aggressive in Feferi, because a moment later her fangs dug into the corner of her neck and shoulder. It should have been painful, but Jade's nerves were so maxed out with bliss that she wailed out a moan and began to spasm all over. Nepeta still didn't stop, merely lapped at her a little slower, lathing over every sensitive spot she had discovered with purrsistence. Her orgasm kept going, spasm after spasm dragged out of her by her unrelenting suitors. Only their troll-like strength kept her from folding up as adrenaline kicked in and she struggled against the over-stimulation, screaming at them to stop and keep going at the same time.

When she suddenly collapsed, shaking with exhaustion, they had mercy and pulled away, both of them making sounds like they were licking their lips in the darkness. Jade was panting loudly, utterly wiped. She wanted to return the favor now, she really did, but she couldn't even lift her arms. The two girls still had each other though, and she suspected they were both so aroused that it wouldn't take long.

“Bucket?” Nepeta whispered desperately.

“I've got one,” Feferi gasped back, and then there was a clanging sound and a lot of muffled moaning. Jade turned her head and found herself wishing she could see in the dark. The moaning grew louder and less muffled very fast, and was soon followed by a lot of splashing and panting.

Jade  _really_ wished she could see in the dark.

They collapsed beside her a moment later, trembling much like she was. The three of them embraced each other once more, exhausted and utterly satisfied. Their breathing began to slow and the heat of exertion to dissipate.

“We're definitely going to have to arrange more of these slumber parties,” Feferi said sluggishly. Jade giggled, her heart flipping and flopping in her chest.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “So much. For everything.”

They squeezed her tightly, nuzzling closer. Sleep made an attempt at visiting.

“Oh, fuck!” Nepeta suddenly squeaked.

“What?”

“What the hell am I supposed to put on my shipping grid?”

Jade snorted with laughter, gave her a kiss, and went to sleep.


End file.
